a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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