after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
