is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
