Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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