If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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