I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
