you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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