yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
