What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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