If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
