If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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