Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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