She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
