Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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