U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
