everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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