just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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