Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
