There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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