I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
