So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
