what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
