He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
