my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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