we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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