Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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(408): View more from California

I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.

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(619): View more from California

Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose

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(850): View more from Florida

He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.

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