This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
