It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.