I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.