We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER