Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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