Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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