Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
