She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
