yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
50% drunk capacity currently
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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