I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize