I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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