Me too!
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
