They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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