yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
