Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
