Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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