I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
