I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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