dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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