toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
