I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize