a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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