Your dad touched me again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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