Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
