Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
