your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
