just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
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i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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