She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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