Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i think i just lost a toe
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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