I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
