So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We're too hungover to prance.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
