I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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