so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
