i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got inside last night via doggy door
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
