Midget sex pt 2 tonight
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
