The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
