Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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