You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
