theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize