I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we're so committed to being not committed
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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